“How Strengthening Executive Functioning Helps Neurodivergent Young Adults Thrive”
- Stephanie Buckley
- Oct 23
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 24
Written by Stephanie Buckley, AMFT (#147538)
ADHD Parenting Strategist & Family Systems Coach | Hermosa Beach, California
Stephanie Buckley is an Associate Marriage & Family Therapist and Parenting Strategist based in Hermosa Beach, California. She specializes in ADHD, anxiety, depression, and family systems therapy for kids, teens, couples, and young adults. Drawing from Bowen Family Systems Theory and Solution-Focused Therapy, Stephanie helps individuals and families move from chaos and conflict to calm, connection, and confidence both in person across the South Bay and virtually throughout California.
She is also the host of The Path to Peace Therapy Podcast, where she shares real-life tools and compassionate strategies to help families and young adults navigate mental health and relational challenges with clarity and confidence.
In today's fast-paced world, young adults face a big challenge: going from dependence to independence. For neurodivergent individuals, this shift can be even tougher. Their brains work differently, which can make it hard to develop critical life skills. Strengthening executive functioning skills such as planning, organizing, and regulating emotions is key to helping these young adults thrive. This blog explores why these skills matter, the common challenges faced, and practical strategies to support their journey toward independence.
Understanding Executive Functioning
Executive functioning is a set of cognitive processes that allow us to control our behavior and handle tasks effectively. Important skills in this realm include:
Planning: Figuring out how to reach a goal.
Prioritizing: Deciding which tasks are the most important.
Organizing: Keeping track of information and materials.
Managing Time: Allocating time wisely.
Regulating Emotions: Managing feelings, especially in stressful situations.
For many young adults, especially those who are neurodivergent, these skills may not be fully developed. Factors like inconsistent family environments, where parents or teachers often provided structure, can hinder development. As a result, neurodivergent individuals may struggle to manage daily tasks effectively.
The Neuroscience Behind Delayed Development
Research shows that the prefrontal cortex responsible for executive functioning develops differently in neurodivergent individuals. This delayed development can result in difficulties with impulse control, emotional regulation, and decision-making. For example, studies indicate that young adults with ADHD often have a 15% delay in developing these skills compared to their peers. Understanding these neurological challenges helps create empathy and understanding for neurodivergent individuals.
When young adults recognize that their struggles are due to their brain's unique wiring, they can reframe their experiences. This perspective shift empowers them, allowing them to see challenges not as personal failures but as part of their unique journey.
The Importance of Strengthening Executive Functioning Skills
Focusing on executive functioning skills is essential for neurodivergent young adults as they move toward independence. Skills like planning and time management can significantly impact academic and career success. Research shows that students with stronger executive functioning skills are 50% more likely to complete higher education programs.
Enhancing these skills also boosts self-esteem. When young adults manage their responsibilities and accomplish their goals, they build a sense of achievement that reinforces their belief in their capabilities.
Practical Strategies for Empowerment
Create Structured Routines
Structured routines provide a sense of predictability. Encourage young adults to develop daily schedules that highlight tasks, deadlines, and breaks. Visual tools, such as color-coded calendars or checklists, can support these routines. Studies show that routine use can improve task completion rates by 30%.
Break Tasks into Manageable Steps
Large tasks can feel overwhelming. Breaking them down into smaller, manageable steps can reduce anxiety. For instance, rather than saying "clean your room," guide them to focus on "pick up clothes," and then "organize the desk." Celebrating each small completion fosters a sense of progress.
Utilize Technology for Support
Technology can bolster executive functioning. Many apps assist with organization, time management, and task tracking. Tools like Todoist and Google Calendar can help young adults stay on top of their responsibilities, contributing to an increase in on-time task completion by 25%.
Practice Emotional Regulation Techniques
Emotional regulation is vital for executive functioning. Introducing mindfulness practices, like deep breathing and journaling, can enhance emotional control. For instance, facial expression recognition exercises can improve emotional response times by up to 40%.
Foster a Growth Mindset
Promote a growth mindset by emphasizing that challenges are opportunities to learn. Help neurodivergent young adults understand that mistakes are part of growing. Celebrating their efforts, regardless of the outcome, cultivates resilience.
Building a Supportive Environment
A nurturing environment makes a significant difference for neurodivergent young adults. Support may come from parents, educators, or mentors. Open communication and understanding are essential. Parents should listen to their child's concerns and offer encouragement. Research shows that a supportive community can increase a young adult's confidence by up to 35%.
Encouraging patience and recognizing that each child's journey is unique fosters a safer space for exploration and growth.
The Role of Therapy and Coaching
For many neurodivergent young adults, therapy or coaching can provide critical scaffolding for growth especially when it comes to strengthening executive functioning skills like planning, organization, and emotional regulation. These approaches help young adults bridge the gap between intention and action while building confidence and emotional awareness along the way.
Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT) emphasizes what’s already working rather than what’s broken. Instead of spending sessions revisiting every challenge from the past, this approach helps young adults identify their existing strengths, visualize their preferred future, and take small, achievable steps toward it. For individuals with ADHD or anxiety, who often feel stuck in cycles of self-criticism or overwhelm, SFT creates momentum and hope. By highlighting progress instead of perfection, it fosters self-efficacy a key element in executive functioning and emotional resilience.
Attachment-based therapy helps young adults explore how early patterns of connection influence their current relationships, confidence, and emotional regulation. Many neurodivergent individuals grew up feeling misunderstood or “too much,” which can create anxious or avoidant attachment patterns in adulthood. Working through these dynamics helps calm the nervous system, reduce fear of rejection, and build healthier, more secure connections with friends, partners, and family.
Bowen Family Systems Theory takes this a step further by looking at the whole family system. It recognizes that anxiety, communication struggles, and over-functioning or under-functioning roles often repeat across generations. Using Bowen’s principle of differentiation, therapy supports young adults in staying emotionally connected to their families while developing independence and self-definition. Understanding how family patterns shape behavior helps reduce reactivity, improve communication, and support a smoother transition into adult life.
Together, these approaches Solution-Focused, Attachment-based, and Bowen Family Systems create an integrated path toward calm, confidence, and clarity. They help young adults move from survival mode to intentional living, building executive functioning skills alongside emotional maturity and self-trust.
A Pathway to Independence
Empowering neurodivergent young adults to strengthen their executive functioning skills is crucial as they work towards independence. By understanding their unique challenges and applying practical strategies, we can help them build the competencies needed for success.
As they learn to manage their time, emotions, and responsibilities, they gain the confidence and clarity essential for pursuing their goals. With consistent support and the right tools, neurodivergent individuals can thrive on their journey to independence.
If this article resonated with you and you are would like more support, reach out!
Email me @ StephanieB@ThePathTpPeaceTherapy.com or call 310-991-8768.
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